Recently I traveled to a national conference and started thinking about my career. It occurred to me that I don’t actually know what I want to do…
As someone in a PhD program this is pretty scary. Most people (or so I am led to believe) start a program with a specific outcome in mind. They want to be a professor or they want to move into industry. Nope. Not me. I did it wrong. I was curious, wanted to travel, and didn’t want to get a job.
And so here I am. I have been trying to fix this ‘mistake’ by doing lots of research. l have looked into industry, teaching, consulting, and other less traveled paths. And I have identified the next challenge. Do I want to travel and move around? I don’t know the answer to that question either. I like the place I currently live, and I really like the community of which l am a part. But opportunities! And who’s to say I wouldn’t love my new community even more?
Onto the last complication: when do l want to have chidren and how does that interact with my career goals? So many questions to which I don’t have the answers.
I have always liked to write. As a kid I bounced back and forth between wanting to be a teacher and a writer. I had the cute little diaries with the key, and later loose leaf paper and binders. I wrote short stories a little bit as a kid. As a teenager I wrote short stories in the infamous “purple notebook” that my friends and I passed around. I wrote a blog during college that tended more towards grumping and detailing personal challenges.
As the internet became more of a thing, I tried to delete many of my negative comments from the net. I didn’t want to be defined by a harsh opinion I held as a teenager. But I didn’t delete them 😉 And so I periodically read the old journal entries and relive the moments. Some moments I’m proud of, lots of relationships I wish were still alive, and some truly mortifying commentary.
I miss the people of my past. I wish I behaved better in some things. I wish I had lived more in the moment then in the future. And so it goes onward. I’ll make more memories and be ashamed of more events. But I can only hope that I maintain a written record, so I can go back and relive the moments through my words.
This is that post. You know, the one where I wax poetic about all the things I want to accomplish with this blog. Where I tell you how philosophical I plan on being, show you how interesting I am, and when I outline the next six months of content (preferably in rant format).
This isn’t really that post. I’m not going to rant 😉
I’m a PhD candidate at a Big State University. I live with my boyfriend and dog and wonder what I’m doing with my life. Somehow I made it to (and almost through) grad school without a firm handle on what I am going to do with my life. And so, drum roll, the goal of this blog is to explore some of the interesting opportunities that come into my life while developing my voice. Follow along as I take on the world!